Every family have their own set of rules, some are passed down through tradition while others more specific to the family evolved from the family’s past history. Some rules are explicit while some are implied.
For example, traditional Asian families' rules may include:
- Hierarchical structure, where males & older individuals have higher status in the family.
- One-way communication, where adults speak to children while children are supposed to be ‘seen and not heard’.
- Discipline is paramount, shame & guilt are used to control and train children, ie, ‘parents know best’.
- Patriarchal, where husbands make the decisions, wives play the more passive role.
- Loyalty and honor of the family must be defended; family members must avoid shaming and embarrassing the family.
Examples of rules specific to a family might include:
- Topics to avoid during meals.
- We don't talk business at home.
- Parents keeping ‘family secrets’ from children. (Secrets referring to information they feel their children are not ready to hear, for example, why a relative is in jail, why an uncle is divorced, etc.)
Family business owners need to be aware of how their family rules impact the behavior and attitudes of family members, which ultimately impact their businesses.
Here’s how some of the family rules examples given above might affect a family business:
Males & Older Individuals Have Higher Status in the Family
Following this rule strictly, an older but less qualified family member might end up in a senior position which he or she can’t handle. On the other hand, putting a qualified but younger sibling in the position might result in resentment and conflict.
One-Way Communication, Children Are to be Seen & Not Heard
We have seen family members working in their family businesses for 10-20 years and still unable to make simple decisions without going through their parents. While parents blame their children for not stepping up to the plate, their children resent their parents because their parents don't listen to them and expect them to execute instructions without question.
Parents Know Best
Similar to one-way communication, children's ideas are shot down automatically, even in situations where the children have the necessary data to back their ideas. Sometimes, it is due to the parents' inability to let go, at other times, it might be ego getting in the way.
Patriarchal
The husband might not be making the best decisions for the business (and/or the family) but his wife defers to him out of respect and tradition.
We Don't Talk Business At Home
Some parents make it a point not to discuss their business at home in front of their young children; however, they bring their frustrations home which manifest in other ways. They might be moody over dinner or argue behind closed doors. In such scenario, their children might grow up associating the family business with negativity and that could impact their decision later in life about whether to be part of the family business.
Family Secrets
Sometimes the 'secrets' being kept might have bearing on the business, for example, whether to hire an extended family member.
What are your family rules? How have the rules affected your business, both positively and negatively? What rules need to evolve in order for the family business to move forward?
Need help to identify your family rules, their impact and what to do about it? Register NOW for our FREE Business Optimization Clinic, valued at RM750. We guarantee you will get at least 1-2 ideas you can implement immediately, even if you do not engage our services.
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